What the FUCK
I would be an amazing girlfriend. These douchebags don’t even know.
Oh my GOD my track uniform looks hideous. I’m gonna run 592726 miles a day for the rest of forever. This shit has gotten ridiculous.
I can’t sleep, I feel like shit, and honestly I just need somebody to talk to or I’m going to sit here alone in the dark and cry until whenever Mama wakes up. As childish as it is, I want my Daddy. :(
I don’t know if I’m sick, have an eating disorder, or not sleeping enough, but I’m tired of it.
I think my favorite thing about the beach was being able to walk around without shoes all the time and having it be normal.
No matter how much you use me, or disappoint me, I just need you to know that I’m always here for you. I’ll always be here if you need advice, school help, family, a friend, someone to tell you that everything will be alright, and just someone who loves you and cares deeply about you. If you just feel overwhelmed by life (which you should, because you made some seriously shitty choices), you can always call me. I may not like you, but I do love you and I want you to do well, succeed and be happy. I may not be a fan of how you treated me, but I know you regret it. I know you’re not the idiot a lot of people think you are. I know you better than people who have known you for years do, and I know that you know that. I can tell when you’re upset under that tough exterior, and you’ve opened up to me about things I know you’ve never dreamed about telling anyone else. I’m glad that even though you’ve left me feeling used, somewhat broken, and alone, I was able to be comforting to you in the time before. Please make something of yourself for me.
Now, if I could only tell you all of that.
Why the fuck do I keep letting myself get huge? I currently despise the way I look, but I just feel helpless. It’s almost like I can’t do anything about it, I just don’t lose weight. It pisses me off. I think I gave more of a shit how I looked when I went to concerts more. I’m just gonna stop eating and play hard at basketball. Maybe I’ll get skinny and guys will like me and I’ll become the biggest bitch in the universe, etc. I’d just love to be so fine by flirt track season that it’s ridiculous. Being ripped and such would be awesome. I can almost guarantee that if I could just get there, I would never gain that weight ever again. /endwah
It kind of depresses me that because of the circumstances at hand (age and other assorted uncontrollable things), I’ll never get to know some of the people I’m kind of on the same wavelength with. Not being an idiot kind of sucks sometimes when everyone else is an idiot.
…WAHHHHH :( haha.
You know when a song just speaks to you?
Breakthru -Queen
Seed -The Academy Is…
I have no idea, but these songs are just making me emotional right now.
